I Got To Hold My Son's Hand Today.

I often times look back at my life and see things that I have taken for granted. It is amazing how that happens with all of us. Today, I had another one of those moments. I got to hold my son's hand.

When Kaeson was 22 months old, I started to notice little differences in him: Quirks, idiosyncrasies, unique characteristics. These little bug a boos have grown into annoyances to full on disruptive and destructive behaviors.

I have tried to keep him maintained on a schedule and I use a pretty strong behavior structure with him. By the end of the day (7:00) I am completely exhausted and can barely move. However, from the outside, it looks like I let my son run wild with no thought towards maintaining control. I have been chastised by strangers in the supermarket and even criticized about my parenting skills by a couple of extended family members and even acquaintances. I can honestly say that Kaeson has one of those personalities that at times, only a mother can love.

On the bright side, I do have some amazingly wonderful friends and family that have stood by my side and supported me as I have been working through issues and getting to the bottom of what is inside of Kaeson's head. To you, my friends, I send you my deepest and most heart felt thanks.

In order to help this little kiddo, I have tried specialized diets, medicines, allergy treatments and play therapies. I have bought books and toys and have even researched effective computer games. Some have helped. Some have not.

Over this past week, in my efforts to curb his destructive tendencies around the house, I removed everything but his beds from his room. I know that this sounds harsh but, he needed an environment that would allow him to rest and relax without over stimulating him.

That brings us to yesterday. I woke up early to find that Kaeson had beat my alarm clock and had climbed up onto the counter to reach and eat an entire bag of Hershey's Kisses. Later in the day, he stripped his beds of all the bedding, mattresses and had broken off one of his blinds to hit things that were up on the shelves that are 8 feet from the floor.

I hit a new low. What else could I do? I called our regular pediatrician and she is out of the office until January due to complications with her pregnancy. I called her partner that is working with Kaeson as well and he is out of the office for two weeks. I about cried.

Last evening at 8:00, the doctor covering for our normal pediatrician called and told me that she had read the notes from the message that I left for my pediatrician's nurse. She mentioned that there was probably nothing that she could do but, didn't want to leave me hanging. After hearing my obvious discouragement and desperation, she must have felt sorry for me and told me that she would prescribe a medication to help Kaeson calm down and focus. What a breath of fresh air.

I ran this morning to pick up the prescription from the doctor's office and to the pharmacy to have it filled. I raced soon there after to the school to give him his first dose. I then sat back and waited for it to kick and for him to come home.

I am not a huge an of medication but, if it is needed, it is needed. For Kaeson, this was needed. He came home calm, tranquil and mellow. He was still Kaeson. He still had his cute vivacious personality. He still maintained his opinions about life and lunch. However, his whole demeanor was softer and pleasant.

I took him to the store with me to pick up a few needed items. Generally, when we go out, I hold his wrist in my hand to keep him at my side and to prevent him from running away and causing chaos. He quickly wriggled his wrist out of my hand, which is very normal. Before I could react, he switched his grip and reached for my hand. He didn't run away. He didn't grab every item off the shelf. He simply held my hand and talked to me was we walked through the store.

I had to hold back my tears a bit. I honestly can not remember the time I was able to just hold his hand. It was tiny and soft and I couldn't believe how really young he is. I have missed that a lot in my desperate search to help him succeed in his little life. I think that today will be one of those days that I look back at for the rest of my life. Nothing fancy. Nothing extraordinary. Just the day that I was able to hold my son's hand.

Now, who knows how well this new medicine will work but, I am going to suck every single precious second that I have with him. It won't be long before he is too old and too cool to hold his mothers hand. I just pray, that I can take advantage of as much of this time as I can. Thank you Kaeson for today!

One of the Best Commercials Ever

Have you ever seen those Mrs. Butterworth commercials and been a little freaked out. I always wondered "what if" with those commercials. That is why I love this commercial.

Crossing My Fingers

He has been telling me lately that he wants to go pee pee in the potty. So, I went out today and bought a new baby potty. No sooner had I opened it and set it up than he sat down and peed in the potty. Woo Hoo! I don't know who is more proud, me or my little Toad Bucket! I knock on wood as I say that I hope that I am on the tail end of the diaper trail! Wish us all luck!

The Many Faces of a Terrible Twos Meltdown.

Kelty has started to get his personality pretty colored in. He is headstrong, independent but, a complete cuddle bug. Although we are still a month off from being two years old, he has started his tantrums.

Last evening, I took the kids out and for an outing and bought a soda. Toad was insistent that he hold the cup. However, seeing as the cup was nearly as big as he was, I could see the disaster written all over the place. I offered for him to have as much as he wanted but, he was not going to hold that massive cup.

This is what ensued. Yes, I know that I should have tried to quickly take care of the situation and put an end to that tantrum. However, he is the third child and I have learned to ignore it. Well, I didn't really ignore it. I sat and took pictures of him. These will be amazingly wonderful on his wedding video someday.

Tousle Me Softly

I have a love / hate relationship with my hair. Don't we all feel like that on occasion?

I will tell you though, I have an AMAZING stylist. Lori is truly gifted and I love what she does. Now I just tell her to do whatever she wants and I always leave ecstatic. I even sold my Nickelback tickets so that I could go get my hair done by her. Well, that is not the only reason but, it does make for a good story doesn't it. She laughs when I tell her that my haircut was SO much better than Nickelback. If you are in need of a stylist, you HAVE to go see Lori.

This last time I had my hair done by her, I bought her miracle round brush and for the first time in my life, I can actually round brush my hair. LOVE IT! It takes me nearly 40 minutes to do it but, I think that it will get better.

One of the main reasons that I have this bittersweet feeling with my hair is that it is now curly. Not the good, cute, die for curly. It is just curly enough to drive me nuts but, not enough to make anything work well. It is super full underneath and completely flat on top. So, you can understand my hopefulness when I saw the commercial for Tousle Me Softly on TV. It shows this woman with absolutely gorgeous thick barrel curls bouncing all over the place.

I am usually not sucked in by commercials promising unrealistic endings to my wild dreams. However, I happened to come across a couple of reviews on the internet and I was sucked right in. People were raving about it. They were saying that it was the best thing since.... whatever the best thing was before Tousle Me Softly. So, what do I do? I pass it today in the grocery store and it was on sale at a ridiculously low price so, I caved in and bought it.

After bringing it home, I tried it out. At first, I looked like a poodle but, it soon calmed down and I think that I may just like this product...maybe. My hair didn't turn out like the commerical promised. I definately didn't get the model perfect, amazing barrel curls that I was shooting for but.... I kinda liked it a little bit. I am asking for honest opinions here. What do you think? Now, I know that the pictures are not the most flattering but, until I can get someone else to snap a picture of it, these will have to do. HONEST OPINIONS PLEASE!

Fun Clips

I figured out how to do these fun clips. They are supposed to resemble poppies but, I am not sure if I quite got that effect with them. Either way, I am hooked and I love making them. Watch out, you may get some.

Stupid Post

Yes, I know, it is a stupid post but, I wanted to share.

I saw it.

I bought it.

I love it.

It works amazingly well.

Just thought you would like to know.

Random Pictures

I have been in a blogging (life) slump the last couple of weeks. I am pulling myself out if it. I am working on concentrating on others and not on my own problems. I am trying to not dwell on the moment but, enjoy the experiences that I am having now. So, if I start to drag you down with me on one of our chats, PLEASE promptly remind me that I have a new goal of being smiles and I will pull myself out of it. I don't want to be a vortex of negativity!!!

Anyway, I am going t remind myself for the 10000th time to buy batteries for my camera tomorrow and I am going to start snapping shots again. In the mean time, I thought that I would post random shots from the past. So, Enjoy my past!

Swiss Days

Every Labor Day weekend, Midway Utah hosts a huge event called Swiss Days. Swiss Days hosts all sorts of fun and entertaining events. There is food, entertainment, sheep hurding, and da da da da vendor booths.

I am a complete vendor booth junkie. It doesn't matter where the vendor booths are, I crave them. I frequent The Quilted Bear, Gardner Village, and even the State Fair. Yep, I do them all. I don't go spend crazy although secretly, I would love to. I leave my debit card and check book at home, get $20 from the ATM and leave that as my spending limit. I hate it but, it works for my budget.

However, the REAL reason that I frequent these booths is to see what is hip, chic and popular. I like to see what everyone else is doing and what the current trends in handiwork is. Do I do this because I am in awe of others work. Well, maybe a little. My real reason is so that I can come up with new and fun craft ideas for myself.

This year, I found several cute ideas that I have fallen in love with. I immediately came home and googled some springboard places and have subsequently made several of the fun things that I saw. To boot, I have found a few ways to tweek them and make them my own. I am so thrilled that I can barely eek out this post. I am excited to see what I can do with this!!!!

Kaeson After Midnight

Last night, I woke up about midnight with a bit of a start (I had only gone to bed an hour before.) All of the lights in the house were on. It really startled me. I went to check on the kids. Kyra and Kelty were tucked safely away but, Kaeson was no where to be found. I searched high and low and finally found him in a laundry basket, in the basement, wearing only his underwear. Oh, and he was wide awake. I asked him what he was up to and he simply answered that he was awake.

So, I picked him up and told him that he could sleep in my room with me instead of his own room. He jumped at that idea. However, that didn't make him anymore sleepy. For the next hour, he tossed and turned and moved about. I am the type of parent that can't sleep if my kids are awake. So, I laid there, absolutely dead tired, waiting for Kaeson to mellow out.

After an hour, I turned on cartoons hoping to soothe him. We continued to watch cartoons until 2:30. Finally, I succumbed to the age old trick of Benadryl (don't tell) and decided to wait it out a bit. An hour later, nothing. Still wide awake. Still trying to do his version of gymnastics on my bed.

Finally, at around 4:15, I had had it. Kyra had been sick with a fever that just wouldn't go away, Toad is getting molars and had whimpered his way through the night. And I had Mr. Gremlin. I finally resulted in giving Kaeson the other half of his Melatonin pill and by 5:00, he was peacefully slumbering. I was asleep a milisecond after his eyes fluttered shut.

My hopes of a couple of hours of sleep were shot to the ground by Kelty who decided that he wanted to be up with the sun and started screaming "Mama" at 6:45. Needless to say, I have had it. One of these days, the lack of sleep is going to catch up with me. Maybe it already has!

Kaesonisms

My cute Kaeson is certainly a verbose little guy. For being as flighty and seemingly scattered as he is, he certainly has well thought out moments. I thought that I would share a couple of his recent ones with you.

Kaeson to Me: "Mom, if I found a magic rock, I would wish for you to be beautiful." Oh, what a great tribute my dear son. If even my kids are wishing that I were beautiful, I have more problems that I thought!

Kaeson to Me as we were driving to my mom's house: "Mom, when Kelton grows up can we rename him Jack." I know that all of us at one point in our lives have questioned our parents name choices. However for him to start wanting to rename the siblings at age 5, I am starting to wonder if I should have steered clear of the whole "K" theme after naming Kyra.

Kaeson to Me: "Mom, I smell like a bear."
Me to Kaeson: "Well, that is pretty cool. What does a bear smell like?"
Kaeson to Me: (Sniffs his shirt) "Like Roast Chicken"
Moral of this story: If you are camping in the woods, and you randomly start smelling roast chicken..... run like heck!

Gotta love Kaeson.

Sick

I don't get sick very often. If I do, it is very mild and usually a couple of doses of Airborne gets me back on my feet in a matter of hours. Really. The stuff REALLY works.

HOWEVER.... Sunday, I brought little Toad home from church early because he started running a fever. No sweat. A little Tylenol and a box of popcicles and we were back in business. He has been a little clingy the last few days but, besides that, all has been good.

Then, YESTERDAY, I started to feel a bit down and exhausted. I have had a LOT on my plate lately and took it as a little lag in my immune system due to the huge surge of stress stress stress stress stress in my little universe. While on the phone with a friend, I couldn't even keep up with the conversation.

Finally TODAY... I woke up and could barely move. My cute kids were thrilled to have me turn on morning cartoon just so that I could get through the huge ordeal of making cold cereal for breakfast. My neck hurt, my throat hurt, my ears pounded and my already impared hearing became almost non-existant. I dropped the kids off at school only to return home to drop myself on the couch to gain the strength to get myself dressed.

My cute brother came over and brought me lunch. We spent some time chatting and lounging around when the phone rang. The school was calling to inform me that Kyra was very sick, had a headache and had a fever. After picking her up and getting her a popcicle, Kaeson started up as well.

Where does this leave me.... Alone with a nest full of sickie chickies and to boot, mama bird isn't doing so hot herself. It was quite a sight this evening. Me and my little brood were all laying spread out on my bed watching Sponge Bob. One by one I would drop them into a cool tub and then wisk them off to bed.

Although it was quite a miracle that they were all in bed and asleep by 7:00, I hope that they sleep well and sleep hard so that I can find a time to recover tomorrow! For now, I am going to ignore that fact that the house looks like a disaster area and crash on my couch!

Thanks for listening to me complain!

Choices Versus Decisions

I know that all of us during some point in our lives feel like we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. I know that I certainly do. I have been thinking a lot about choices and decisions and using the two words interchangeably over the past couple of weeks. So, tonight, after I put the kids to bed, I wanted to know the difference between the two and of course turned to the all mighty google to help me in my little quandary.

I found it interesting and thought that I would share:

The Wictionary states:

Choice: An option; A decision; An opportunity to choose or select something.

Decisions: A decision is the commitment to irrevocably allocate valuable resources. A decision is a commitment to act. Action is the irrevocable allocation of valuable resources.

That makes it a little more pressing to be making wise decisions doesn't it.

Kaeson Goes To Kindergarten ?!?!?!?!?

Someone press pause! Life is going by way too fast.

Last week Kaeson started Kindergarten. That line is still ringing in my ears! I can't believe that my little guy is old enough to go to school. Although I was expecting to be overwhelmed with joy with the fact that I had a morning with just my little Toad, I was quite teary eyed.

The whole morning I just thinking about my tiny little 6 pound baby boy. From the second he was born, he was completely attached to my hip. I remember trying to drop some of those pesky baby pounds and leaving him at the gym daycare so that I could get a small workout in. I would only get 10 minutes on the eliptical machine before the staff would walk in with my screaming little boy. I finally ended up walking on the treadmill with a snuglee strapped to my chest. That continued until he was three years old!!!!

So, imagine my surprise when I went to drop him off and he didn't look back even for one second. I am sure that it doesn't surprise anyone that he started his first day of school with a huge bandaid on his forehead!!! He was such the grown up boy and didn't seem to have even a second thought at school. One that playground was spotted, mom was forgotten. Although his teacher has her work cut out for her, she is so amazingly patient and kind with Kaeson. What a great blessing!
Welcome to the big world Kaeson. You have a lot to offer!!!!